Friday, October 30, 2009

Music TGIF - Bad Music Joke(s) of the Week - Trick or Treat!

Not very Halloween, but a little dark and creepy, several Bad Music Jokes somewhat in the spirit...

What do you get when 20 violinists start playing at the same time but play different songs? A senseless act of violins.

Q: Why did they bury the conductor 20 feet under?
A: Because deep down, he was a really nice guy.

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs who can play 5 musical instruments? Stump the Band.

Why did the Philharmonic disband? Excessive sax and violins.

What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?
A pair of Re-bachs.

Opera: When a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding, he sings.

AN-DANTE: A tempo that's infernally slow

And, included, of course, a definitely out-of-the-ordinary music graphic or two...

Friday, October 23, 2009

Music TGIF - Bad Music Joke(s) of the Week - The Blues

The Blues ( a long bad music joke this week)

Blues locations:

- Chicago
- St. Louis
- Kansas City
- the highway
- a crossroads
- the jail house
- dirty linoleum floor
- an empty bed

Not Blues locations:

- Disney World, or any place with the word "Disney" in it
- the mall
- gallery openings
- wine tastings
- boutique breweries

Blues Liquids/Beverages:

- wine from a box or a bottle in a sack
- cheap whiskey from a dirty glass
- a bottle or can of fine Chicago (or in the vicinity) beer, such as Schlitz, Pabst, Bud...
- muddy water (usually not for drinking, if possible)

Not Blues Beverages:

- bottled spring water, especially not French
- any mixed drink or a drink with a little umbrella in it
- anything from a Starbuck's
- boutique beer

Blues transportation:

- Chevys
- Cadillacs (only if real old)
- a Greyhound bus
- a southbound train
- walkin'

Not Blues transportation:

- German cars such as BMW or Mercedes, but VW okay if you're an old white hippy
- hot air balloons
- escalators
- Segways
- canoes

Gradient Blue Eighth Note shirt
Gradient Blue Eighth Note by chmayer
Browse more Chm T-Shirts

For more music merchandise at all related to The Blues, please visit...
Music Stuff & More
@ Zazzle
@ CafePress

Friday, October 16, 2009

Music TGIF - Bad Music Joke(s) of the Week - Bass/Baseball

I'm thinking Music (Bass) and Baseball today, as I watch my Angels beat the Yankees. Accordingly, the music focus for this week's Bad Music Joke of the Week is, yes, the Bass...Clef...

Catch some bass hits at Bass Clef merchandise at both Music Stuff & More @ Zazzle and @ CafePress

"Gold" Bass Clef by chmayer
Many more t-shirts online at Zazzle

So, where's the BMJOTW? Here goes, all with a bass/baseball theme...

Basses: the things you run around in bassball

BASSO CONTINUO - when the Angels keep getting base hits, continue getting base hits (Woo Hoo)

A Bass Hit: When the bass player plays a really great solo, has a great gig

Score: Something good for both musicians (bass players) and baseball players

Rubato: When you steal a base or bass (or bassist or bass fish)

Perfect Pitch: A great thing for a musician or a baseball player

Q: What's the difference between an oboe and a bassoon?
A: You can hit a baseball further with a bassoon.

(BTW, here's some bassoons at Music Stuff & More @ CafePress )

Go Angels! Go All-Things-Bass!

Please visit Music Stuff & More

Friday, October 09, 2009

Music TGIF - Bad Music Joke of the Week - Arpeggio

Arpeggio: "Ain't he that storybook kid with the big nose that grows?"

[rimshot here]

Please visit Music Stuff & More
@ Zazzle
@ CafePress

Friday, October 02, 2009

Music TGIF - Bad Music Joke of the Week - More Beer

Bar Line: a gathering of people, usually among which may be found a musician or two.

Black Treble Clef mug
Black Treble Clef by chmayer
Buy a mug at zazzle

This is about Oktoberfest. As my steins, you can certainly see this glass mug as a mug for beer.
So, have a happy (and responsible) Oktoberfest. As the old-time pirates would say, "Drink up, me hearties!"

For more mugs and steins, and other music stuff, please visit...
Music Stuff & More
@ Zazzle
@ CafePress